


Golden Shadows

by writers_exchange



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Demi-dark Harry, Draco gives an interview, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, M/M, Manipulation, Manipulative Harry, Own female character - Freeform, Panic, Unrequited Love, Where light is there is also shadow, this is not nice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-09 23:26:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8917279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writers_exchange/pseuds/writers_exchange
Summary: After the surprising death of Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy decides to finally tell his version of the story. Follow Admina Fawley as she interviews him and let your world view be altered forever. This is a story of love, devotion and betrayal.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this came to me and I just wrote it down to get it out of my system. It's pretty dark which is somehow becoming a theme with my stories at the moment. I don't know what that says about the state of my mind either.  
> I hope you still enjoy it. Let me know what you think :)  
> And now enjoy!
> 
> (I apologize for spelling mistakes or nonesense sentences in advance but I edited this while I was very tired :D If you find something just tell me and I will correct it!)

**_Golden Shadows_ **

_An interview with Draco Malfoy_

_By Admina Fawley_

_Draco Malfoy is already there when I enter the interview room. He stands up politely upon my arrival and shakes my hand. His grip is firm but soft. I greet him while we sit down. His robes are traditional and undoubtedly expensive but I can’t help to notice the frayed edges. Mr Malfoy seems poised and collected if it weren’t for his fingers drumming on his knees from time to time. Also the firm set of his jaw somehow lessens the effect of his polite smile. His hair, which must have been immaculately styled for this interview is now ruffled in places where his hands must have carded through it while he was waiting for my arrival._

_“Are you ready for this, Mr Malfoy?” I set up my Quick-Quotes quill and a roll of parchment._

_“As ready as I ever will be.” Mr Malfoy’s voice is quite but I can sense a certain determination. And it is just as well. This interview will alter the view the wizarding world has on our late saviour. This interview will change how we see Harry Potter forever._

***

“Mr Malfoy, thank you again for agreeing to this interview”, Admina Fawley starts with a polite smile. She sits across from Draco, her spine straight and her legs crossed. Her suited, fashioned after the latest muggle styles, is crisp and unruffled. _Must be some kind of spell,_ Draco thinks.

“The pleasure is all mine, Ms Fawley. Thank you for letting me share my view.” Draco starts drumming on his knee again and promptly folds his hands in his lap when he notices. This is important and he can’t mess is up. This will be his only chance to ever be heard.

“Of course, Mr Malfoy. Which leads me to my first question.” Ms Fawley takes a look at her note cards for a second then smiles up at Draco again. “It’s been three years since the second great wizarding war was over. You have been contacted by plenty of reporters since then. Why did you choose to wait till now? Why wait for Harry Potter’s death to come forward with your story?”

The young witch has attentive eyes trained on Draco but she waits patiently for him to collect his thoughts and form them into words. The soft scratching of the quill on the parchment is the only sound for a while.

“It’s true”, Draco finally says. He stares at a point over her shoulder. “I had a lot of chances to tell my story before. I have been offered obscene amounts of money to talk about my point of view. What held me back was probably a”, Draco pauses as if he is searching for the right words and his gaze meets hers. “A false sense of loyalty towards Harry. I felt like I owed it to him, owed him to stay quiet. He hated all the fuss about him. I never realised that I owed him absolutely nothing.”

***

_When he utters those words his eyes turn hard and a sneer settles on Mr Malfoy’s features. In this moment he most resembles the pictures I have seen of him as a youngster. But, other than in his past, this sneer is directed more at himself than at anyone else. I also notice his knuckles turning white as he folds his hands impossibly tighter. Without a doubt, I can say that this interview upsets Mr Malfoy deeply. If he really tells the truth, well that will be made clear throughout the rest of our talk._

_***_

“If you wouldn’t mind, Mr Malfoy, would you maybe clarify for our readers why exactly you thought you owed Mr Potter loyalty? Was it because of the life debt he held over you from saving you from the fiendfyre?” Ms Fawley is completely focused on Draco and he can see the curiosity sparkling in her brown eyes. Yet her questions are completely pleasant and not in the least bit like she is prying. He almost feels comfortable talking to her. _It’s definitely a step up from Rita Skeeter._

“Yes, that was a part of it. Harry had saved my life during the war and he had testified for me and my mother in the trials. And I was grateful for it, still am grateful today.” Draco’s gaze wanders for a moment, his eyes glazing over and a soft smile tugs at his lips. “But that wasn’t it. I had saved Harry as well. During the time he was running from the Dark Lord. He used to say that our life debts cancelled each other out. He was always noble like that. No, what really granted him my loyalty was”, Draco pauses to take a deep breath. “It was the fact that I was in love with him.”

It’s the first time that Draco admits it to anyone else than himself, and Harry of course. He feels like a weight is lifted from his shoulders. One secret less which he has to keep sealed inside. The scratch of the feather grows a bit louder, as if it is excited, and Draco notices the hungry gleam in Ms Fawley’s eyes.

“Well, it’s obviously no secret that a lot of people had crushes on the Saviour of the wizarding world. What was so special about your crush? What made it different?”

Draco can't suppress a chuckle. Admina Fawley is a great interviewer. She has a way of misunderstanding deliberately and phrasing questions in such an innocent way. She knows exactly how to draw secrets out. It is no surprise to him of course. She is still young, 18 years old, but she has talent and her career in journalism promises to be meteoric. She had been more than willing to interview Malfoy. Something that other reporters had shied away from. But she understood what they didn’t. This interview and its contents would cause an outcry. And it didn’t matter if people believed him in the end or not, this article would catapult any ambitious journalist into the top ranks. She had grasped the chance without a second thought.

“It wasn’t a crush at all. I was in love with him and we were together. For quite some time actually.” Draco is proud because his voice only wavers a little bit. But the memories of that time hurt and this is the first time he talks about it. No one knows about this. Not his friends and definitely not Harry’s.

“So you are saying that you and Mr Potter had a sexual relationship?”

“That is exactly what I’m saying, Ms Fawley.”

***

_There is a glint in Mr Malfoy’s eyes as he shares this shocking statement almost as if he wills me to defy him. But his posture is straight and he thrums with determination. It occurs to me that in this moment, he is showing a confidence I haven’t seen in him until now. I assume it comes from a deeply ingrained knowledge that his words are true. A knowledge that comes from hidden touches and stolen kisses and shared secrets. I ask myself a single question. ‘Can such confidence grow from a lie?’_

***

The room is quiet for a while. Ms Fawley is checking her note cards again, probably thinking carefully about how she will take it from here for maximal impact and it gives Draco a chance to collect his thoughts. He had figured it would be hard to talk about his history with Harry but the force with which it affected him was surprising. But after all, Harry always had managed to surprise him.

“Mr Malfoy, this is quite an interesting statement you made there. Would you mind, for our readers, to start at the beginning? Would you mind telling us how this relationship you claim to have had with Mr Potter has come to pass?”

 _Start at the beginning,_ Draco thought. That was probably the best idea.

“No, no I don’t mind.” Draco closes his eyes for a second. Then he opens them and starts. “It is important for you to know, that where I am concerned there never was a clear beginning. I grew up with stories of Harry Potter and I had always admired him. My father had, of course, discouraged my childish notions. But it was no use. Like every young child I believed in heroes and Harry Potter was mine. It was hard for me to picture him back then because I knew that he would be a child not unlike me. But at the same time, he was something larger than life and I thought he must be very wise and powerful to be such a hero as he was.”

Draco shakes his head as he remembers how he was back then. Still a child who believed in heroes and the good side always winning. He had put Harry Potter on a pedestal but like in all things Harry had proved him wrong.

“Of course I was very disappointed when I saw Harry for the first time. Such a scrawny boy and so utterly unimpressive. I was scandalised. And he was friends with half-giants and Weasley’s. You see, I was a boy who believed in heroes but my depiction of _good_ was utterly tainted by my father. Certain groups of people had no place in my little world. I thought I had to save Harry from it all. I was sure that he had no other choice than to become my friend because I had never known anything else. He rejected me for the first time then and if I had been smart I would have backed away right at that moment. It’s a shame that my sense of self-preservation never prevailed around Potter.”

***

_The sneer is back on Mr Malfoy’s face as he recounts the follies of his youth. This time, though, I am sure that it is partly directed at Harry Potter as well. In fact, there seem to be a lot of emotions at battle inside Draco Malfoy where the Golden Boy is concerned. At this point, I am fairly certain the interview will prove to be very interesting._

***

"From the moment he rejected my friendship I did everything in my power to get his attention. All I ever wanted as a child was a hero. In the end, _I_ became a villain.”

Draco is silent again after that. All of this has happened ten years ago, it feels like a lifetime, and yet it still hurts like it has all happened yesterday. No one had ever been able to get under his skin like Harry Potter. No one had ever been able to hurt him like the Golden Boy had, either.

“I still don’t seem to understand how you came from being school rivals to lovers.” Ms Fawley’s voice pulls Draco out of his memories and he clears his throat.

“Some people say it’s a thin line between love and hate. This has always been true for me, at least. As soon as puberty hit me my feelings for Harry changed as well. I was attracted to him and never even questioned it. It just was a truth of who I am. It still is.” Draco has to look to the side again as he blinks away the first tear.

“But it wasn’t until our fifth year that it changed into something more.”

“Would you care to share what changed that year, Mr Malfoy?” the young reporter prompts carefully.

“The Dark Lord was back. _Everything_ changed that year. Dumbledore urged Harry to recruit me to their side. He wanted me as a spy. Harry was reluctant at first which was to be expected. But after a while, he started to approach me. It was a disaster at first. We would start screaming at each other, sometimes throwing hexes and more often than not punches. Then one day Harry had pinned me to the ground and I was sure that he was going to punch me square in the face. But instead, he kissed me. There was nothing romantic about it. It was rough and hard. Like another form of punches, really. It was everything I could wish for.”

***

_Draco’s voice hitches and for the first time I can see him losing his composure. There is a slight tremble running through his body now and his right hand finds his way into his hair, dishevelling it completely now. His breathing becomes more rapid and I can’t tell whether it is from desire or contempt but I’m more than sure Mr Malfoy doesn’t know either. As his eyes find mine again the first tears spill down his cheeks._

***

“Was that the start of your relationship then?”

“I was the start of something, yes. We were two teenagers stuck in a situation of extreme stress. For him it was the looming threat of the Dark Lord and no one believing him, for me it were the expectations of my father to take the mark. It was a way to relieve stress. For Harry it was also experimenting. I had known I was gay for a long time but Harry, he was still figuring himself out. It was fucking. Not lovemaking, not sex. It was rough and it often left me more bruised then fighting. But it was what I wanted. What I needed. It was what Harry could give me and I took it.”

A violent sob wracks through Draco’s body and he clamps his hands over his mouth and squeezes his eyes shut. It’s too much. He thought he could do it but he can’t. He can’t. No one will believe him anyway. He is just a Death Eater, scum. Harry had never looked twice at him in public. None of his friends knew. They would call him a liar. And worse.

***

_At this point we have to take a break from the interview as Mr Malfoy seems to dissolve into a panic attack. He rocks forcefully back and forth in his chair and his arms are hugged tightly around his middle. The young man is crying openly now and if this is all an act, well then Mr Malfoy surely had the best teachers money could buy._

_I offer him a glass of water and try to calm him down._

***

Draco barely registers Ms Fawley’s attempts to get to him at first. He is absolutely caught in his panic and angst. What he notices first is the glass of water she holds before him and he grabs it and takes a few clumsy swallows. He can’t help it that some of it splashes on his robes. He had been graceful once. A long time ago.

“Draco? Is it okay if I call you Draco?” He hears Ms Fawley’s voice as if it’s far away but he manages a curt nod.

“Great. Call me Admina then. If you need a break, Draco, just say it. We can take a day, come back tomorrow.” Her voice is soothing now and her right hand rubs Draco’s arm in a comforting manner. It’s amazing really, how she changed from a total professional to a caring young women in such a short amount of time. Maybe she really believes him. Draco is just glad he chose her for the interview and not anyone else.

“No. No, it’s fine. I have to get this out. If I stop now I will never start again.” Draco collects some of his determination from before and finally manages to push the panic aside. It’s still there, lingering at his edges but at least he has some sort of control back now. “Where were we?”

“You had told me about your sexual encounters with Mr Potter.” Admina sits back on her chair but there is concern now in her eyes.

“Yes. I joined Harry’s side then. At least in secret. No one was supposed to know. I reported back to Harry everything I knew and then he would fuck me, never the other way round. And that was it. It went well for nearly the whole year but then I made a mistake.”

The memories rush back. The fateful night in the Room of Requirement. He had been drunken on his orgasm and he was sure that a year of fucking had to mean something. He had been so stupid.

“What mistake was that?”

“I told Harry that I loved him. That I wanted to be with him. For real. Join his side openly.”

Draco scoffs. It had been such a good idea in his head.

“He laughed at me.”

The tears were running freely again.

“So Harry Potter didn’t reciprocate your feelings back then?” Admina probes gently.

“Or so he said. He told me it was stupid, that he could never love someone like me. He said I was needed as a spy anyway and made it more than clear where he thought my place was. _Malfoy,_ he had said, _you and I will never be on the same side of anything. You are nothing to me._ ”

“And what happened after that, Draco?”

“We didn’t talk for a while. I reported to Snape and avoided Harry for the last month of the school year. I was furious. I thought I was finally over him but I was foolish to believe that. On the last day of school he found me. He was fidgeting and blushing, stuttering the whole time. He told me that he had been and ass and if I could forgive him. _I am so confused Draco,_ he said. It was the first time he had used my name. Draco. He had caressed my cheek and told me that he liked me a lot but that he had never liked a boy before and with the war and everything. He played me like a fiddle and I never stood a chance.”

Draco had believed it as well. A careful hope that maybe things would turn out good after all. If he just could help Harry through this and be what he needed. He had been such a naïve boy. He had fancied himself a man.

“Then he asked something of me.” It’s barely a whisper.

“What did he ask Draco? Would you like to tell our readers?”

“He asked me to take the Dark Mark.”

It’s a simple statement but it implies so much, Draco knows that. Everyone thought Draco had been a Death Eater by choice or at least that his father had made him take the Mark. But it had been Harry. The Saviour had made Draco into the villain that he was. He had marked Draco in worse ways than anyone else ever could have done.

“So you are saying that Harry Potter has made you take the Dark Mark? Not Voldemort, not your father and not you? But Harry Potter?” Admina sounds doubtful and Draco can't blame her. He can't believe it himself most of the time.

“He said that he needed someone in the Dark Lord’s ranks whom he could trust. Someone strong and loyal and that I was the one he would trust with this important task. He had manipulated me and I had taken the bait willingly. I took the mark that summer and that was the beginning of the end.”

It was silent again. The young witch frowns at her cards as if she expects them to tell her the truth. Draco cries silently, waiting for her to continue.

“If what you say is true, Draco, then why did you let the Death Eaters into Hogwarts the next year? You played a huge role in Dumbledore’s death and it just doesn’t seem to fit with your story.”

“It was all a scam. Dumbledore had been dying anyway and Snape was supposed to kill him. To reinforce the Dark Lord’s trust in him. It was all planned but Harry still used it against me. The sixth year was horrible. He was all hot and cold. One day praising me for my strength and the next he would accuse me of being a traitor. He stalked me, watched every step I made and I just couldn’t take it anymore at one point. I told him to leave me alone, that I didn’t want him anymore. I avoided him and he got more and more furious. After a while, I started a little fling with Blaise Zabini. It was nothing, just a friends with benefits thing but Harry found out and he confronted me. He screamed that no one was supposed to touch me but him and that I behaved like a slut. We started duelling and he nearly killed me with a spell. After that everything happened really fast and I ran away with Snape after Dumbledore’s death and the school year was over. We both didn’t return to school the next year and I didn’t see him again for nearly a year. Until then I had convinced myself that he had been really jealous and that it meant he loved me. As I said before, I was a naïve and stupid boy.”

Draco hated himself more than anyone else. It was disgusting how he had been pulled in by Potter every single time. How he had believed the most ridiculous lies. He had lied to himself more than anything else.

“When did you first see Harry Potter again? Was it at the battle?” Admina has forsaken her cards now. Her attention has changed as well. It seems like she is personally curious now, not just on a professional level. She wants to hear his story.

“No. He was brought to the manor by Snatchers. Together with Granger and Weasley. Granger had done something to his face and my aunt, Bellatrix, she asked me to identify him but I said I couldn’t. That’s when I saved his life. They managed to flee and then I didn’t see him again until the battle.”

Time had passed so fast back then. Years flying. He missed the carefree days of his childhood most when Harry Potter had still been his hero.

“That’s when he saved your life?”

“I confronted him in the Room of Requirements with my friends. Vincent, he conjured fiendfyre and I was sure we were going to die there. But for once in my life Harry had been the hero I always wanted him to be and he saved me. Sometimes I wish I had died there with Vincent.”

Another thing he had never told anyone else.

“He found me after the battle was over. He was so gentle and I thought that was finally it. That he would be with me now. But I guess he never intended to. He talked about how people would look to him now and that he must provide a picture of normalcy and stability. That he had to marry Ginny because people expected it but that if I waited for him, maybe five years or so, he could divorce her and be with me properly. _But I have to be there for her right now, Draco,_ he had said. _She needs me. They all need me. You can’t be so selfish, Draco._ And I fell for it again. He married her as we all know but we still met in secret. He fucked me in their bed when she was away with her Quidditch team. He fucked me the day their first child was born. He made it to the hospital barely in time and blamed it on his work.”

***

_There is a cruel gleam in Draco’s eyes as he utters those words. It seems crude to say something like that. I think about it for a second. Had I heard him say this without the context I have now, I would have judged him harshly. Now I can’t help but wonder if Draco Malfoy really is the evil Death Eater everyone has made him into. When I decided to take this interview I wasn’t sure if I would believe the young men. But I do._

_And I want to hear the rest of his story._

***

“I’m not proud of that. I’m not. But it will be the only revenge I will ever get. The only sense of superiority. He cheated on Ginny with me but I never had his love. I never had anything from him. He was just using me until even that became inconvenient. Until I made another mistake.”

Draco stares at his hands. This is it. The truth will be out, no taking it back.

“I don’t dare to ask, Draco.” Admina leans over and lays a comforting hand on his knee. Draco chuckles dryly.

“I got pregnant.”

It’s out. Admina gasps and slaps her hands over her mouth.

“That is…”, she starts.

“Impossible? That’s what I thought. But apparently, it can happen when one father is a powerful wizard. Maybe it also has something to do with the Veela blood that runs in my family but it’s very weak so I’m not sure. But whether I wanted it to be true or not, it was.”

“And did Harry know?”

“I told him. At first, he didn’t believe me. Then he was furious. He punched me and told me that I was an abomination. That he already had a family and didn’t need me or my bastard child. He left and never contacted me again. Scorpius is one year old now. What will I do when he starts asking for his other father?”

“Draco, I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry.” Admina has to fight the tears now as well.

“You’ll be the only one, I guess. Everyone else will call me a liar. But I am willing to retell this story und Veritaserum if it’s necessary. It’s past time that everyone sees Harry’s dark sides as well. The only thing I’m sorry about is that he doesn’t live to read it himself. He was my hero but in the end, I feared him more than Voldemort himself.”

***

_When I say goodbye to Draco he seems changed. Like a weight has lifted off his shoulders. There is a small smile on his lips but when he shakes my hand I can feel it trembling. When I agreed to this interview I was mildly curious at what Draco Malfoy could possibly have to say. I leave as a changed woman. Harry Potter has been my hero as well. The news of his untimely death just two months ago hit me as hard as anyone else. But now I can’t help but wonder who Harry Potter really was? Have we all been blinded by him? Have we basked in his glory and overlooked his shadows? Most importantly, what will we do with this information? After all, the man saved us all. He is a hero. But is that enough to overlook what he did to an innocent man?_

_I can’t give you the answers. You, my dear readers, will have to find them alone. All I can ask of you is to keep your minds and hearts open. Don’t label Draco Malfoy as a liar directly. Look at the facts. The truth is there._

 


End file.
